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Does Pokemon Make You Gay? Leaked Reports Say Yes

There has been an uproar on blogs and internet forums after a controversial study has been leaked by as of yet unidentified informants. The study titled Pokémon: Secret Weapon of the Homosexual Agenda has been circulating various underground blogs and anime fan sites.

At once such site a user who identified himself as XxPikachuFanChikxX stated "Well of course Pokémon is gay, just look at James in the television show! He carries a rose around half the time, and seems to love putting on a dress." It seems to be true in that long-running television series that the character James; a nefarious member of the "Team Rocket" will often dress in drag as part of some ploy to kidnap Pikachu once and for all. Actually, it seems like he'll find just about any excuse to don extra makeup and women's clothing.

Others seem to disagree with the report and dismiss it as blasphemous hogwash and a possible hoax. Blog commenter Anonymous writes "This is outlandish and untrue. My boyfriend and I both have played all the Pokémon games and been fans since we were kids! We even met at an anime convention where I was dressed like a Pokémon trainer and he was in a Vulpix costume. I was able to trap him with my Master Balls, and we've been together ever since. It may have had a wonderful effect on our lives, but Pokémon didn't turn us gay! Our parents did."

Looking closely at the various media of the Pokémon franchise we can see that the heterosexuality of certain characters is questionable. There is a long standing rival between protagonist Ash Ketchum and rival Pokémon trainer Gary Oak. While early in the Pokémon adventures Gary is seen riding around in an expensive car with a flock of attractive women, he later evolves to a much more reserved personality and begins wearing a pink shirt. It is possible that the rivalry presented between these two male characters is in fact concealing a latent sexual tension.

The report accuses the Pokémon franchise of reducing their subtly over the years about their true motives. One needs only to look at the evolution of the titles of their base video games to notice. In 1996 Pokémon released the relatively gender neutral Pokémon Red, Green, and Blue. In 2000 their new game title became Pokémon Crystal, and by 2006 your only choices were Diamond or Pearl. For a video game whose target audience is primarily young males, the choice of titles is suspiciously feminine.

ConcernedMother4BM writes "I bought my son a copy of Pokémon Mystery Dungeon, and ever since he's been playing dungeon games with his friend. I can always hear him in his bedroom shouting "Bulbasaur use vinewhip! Use vinewhip again! Oh yes, more vinewhip!" I don't know what a Bulbasaur is, but I'm afraid it has already stolen my son's heterosexuality."

The report quotes further evidence from the movie inspired by the Pokémon video game series; Pokémon: The Movie 2000. The scene involves the members of "Team Rocket" James, Jessie, and their Pokémon Meowth.

"Jessie: Look kid, when you get involved with the opposite sex, you're just asking for trouble.

James: And that's the kind of trouble... I stay out of.

Meowth: You two don't need the opposite sex"

It is difficult to witness that quote and not believe there may be some truth to the leaked report. Three of the most persistent characters of the video games and television series admit amongst themselves that the opposite sex is not needed. That would indicate to anyone capable of making a logical leap that they are supporting same sex couplings.

It is possible that the report is flawed based on a cultural misunderstanding. SnorlaxSlaveGirl points out during one forum debate "You have to remember this is all Japanese. In Japan it's normal for a man to hug another man, or for a woman to squeeze the ass of another woman. To "share the peach" is a euphemism for gay sex, and "I'd like to kiss another man" is just an expression that means they want a snow cone. Besides, Pokémon aren't male or female. If anything the Japanese are trying to stop all forms of sex!" While it is easy to imagine a utopian model where there is no sex and Pokémon prosper, it is easier to imagine that Pokémon had ulterior motives all along.

At this point it is unclear if the study Pokémon: Secret Weapon of the Homosexual Agenda will ever be formally published, or simply remain a phantom of Internet sensation. Already several parents have vowed to remove all Pokémon Nintendo DS cartridges from their households, while LBGT organizations have begun to emulate their favorite Pokémon in displays of dubious affection to the game series which has secretly supported their agenda for well over a decade.