another one

[KanadianKrippler]

I am also not one to hit on a girl blatently. I like to see if they are into me, but I find it doesnt happen too often as I feel that most people think that is the "guys role"

Are there are girls out there who could give me some insight on this? Why do I have to be the one hitting on, or trying to meet all the time. Shouldn't it be kind of 50.50? give or take a little?

Or, maybe I am out of it and just cant see when girl is into me.. and of course, my shyness doesnt help at all. How do I beat that?

[Nikki]

KanadianKrippler,

Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and see what happens. There are girls that will make the first move (I asked my husband on our first date), but I think socially girls still expect the guys to do the asking. I'm not sure that this is going to change anytime soon, it's been the "guy's role" for a very long time. Being shy can be difficult to overcome. I'm not really one to give advice on how to get past it, as I don't really have a shy bone in my body . The suggestion I can give is try to relax, be yourself, and if you do start talking with someone, make sure to listen to what she says - it could come in handy later.

Nikki

[KanadianKrippler]

I definatly see where you are comin' from when you say get out there and see what happens. But maybe you can agree with me, at my age group of 21, that place generally means the bar, or on the internet. 2 places I usually dont go to meet girls. And the reason I dont want to meet people at work, is because I have done that before and wow, it was kind of awkward after the fact.

And hey, I always listen

But I like your ideas on joining clubs that are in my interests. I was actually looking at an archery club not too long ago. maybe I should actually go do it lol

[ryan16626]

Hey man.. I must say that the majority of the time, girls will not pick up guys or ask them out. For some odd reason, it is always implied that the guy must do the asking. That is all I know

[soleft]

Ye joining clubs is a great way of meeting new people. I for example did kick boxing, and nothing says I love you more than an uppercut and then jumping on them and screaming like Bruce Lee "WWWWAAAAAAAOOOOOOOAAAA", girls find that hot. Oh ye and you usually go to the pub after the training session, throwing yourself in with random people. It might be random attractive people of the opposite sex if your lucky. You just have to get out!!

[sir-understeer]

^ Girl beater. That's socially unacceptable here in the US.

hahahahaha j/k dude! Well, it is unacceptable if a guy beats a girl here, but I don't think you're like, beating the living snot out of them, so it's all good.



But yeah, my soon to be wife basically did all the asking me out and flirting and stuff, due to the fact that when I met her I wasn't even looking to go out with her. She was trying to hook me up with a friend of her's, who wasn't into me I guess, and then after that I was chasing another chic elsewhere, so I wasn't even looking for a relationship or anything with her.

So for me, I guess the saying of "you don't have to go find love, love will find you" and "you'll find love when you least expect it" apply to me.


However, something tells me you're just after tail, not love

[seroone]

Being shy can be difficult to overcome

Being shy is hard to overcome but the building of self confidence can start easily by talking to people in large groups or putting in opinions when your around strangers (i used to be reallllllyyyyy shy to the point of i couldnt look at a girl without blushing) but i fixed that problem and over the years you learn to fit in and speak outloud to random strangers. I tend to do it too much so i got to much confidence which makes me an arse and a cocky Sob.

Girls will start talkin to you and i dont think it is a "Guys role" to ask the girl out i think if she wants to date me then she should ask me not the other way around.

All you need man is self confidence it builds the way you feel on the look of yourself and not question what is wrong with the way YOU are, learn to loosen up around strangers/girls and im sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to date you.

[KanadianKrippler]

haha, find someone willing to date me. thats funny, but I know what you mean.

I dont mind asking girls, I mean I am a guy and I do have fun. I just find that I attract the wrong type, but then again my type isnt the bar type. So I do like the idea of joining clubs and that so I can start meeting the people that share the same interests as me.

I will -if I am attracted to a girl enough- talk to her. I just find that most of my relationships were 1 sided.. to me which is why I mentioned it would be nice for a girl to come up to me for a change. I guess time is key though,

I am shy... lol but not shy to the point where I am antisocial, I just dont like the bar. I think it is hardly the place to meet a person that you want in a relationship. But that is just me I guess.

The one thing I do find though, is the girls I go out with usually tell me they like fishing, and hunting.. but when it comes down to it they know absolutly nothing about it and just kinda said it. I mean, nothing against them but why say something you are not?

[TJ1adam12]

Originally Posted by KanadianKrippler

I just dont like the bar. I think it is hardly the place to meet a person that you want in a relationship.

Although the bar is a great place to 'polish" one's social skills and have a great time meeting and greeting folks, I agree it's not the typical place to find your "someone special." Now there are exceptions to this rule, however much of what I have seen the relationships are "rocky" at best.

The one thing I do find though, is the girls I go out with usually tell me they like fishing, and hunting.. but when it comes down to it they know absolutly nothing about it and just kinda said it.

This can actually be a great advantage to you! If you have the patience to teach, then that can be a great foundation to starting a lasting relationship. In return often times, they will eventually teach you something they are interested in. A win-win situation all while getting to know one another better

[Grenade]

Well i would say just be yourself. I use to hate it when i would say my friends get a girl when they weren't being them selves. and i like being fun when i meet new girls. am i right Nikki? girls like funny. at least most

[Guns]

I am a very loud out going girl.I was raised if u want something u go after it..as long as u can handle possible regection.I asked my hubby of 13 yrs out.I think the more confident girls are the ones that arent shy to go for what they want,and or a tomboy...I have honestly never seen a girly girl like alot of fishing and sports.Im sure they are out there but ive never seen one.I like the idea of joining clubs and such, gives u something to connect to right of the bat kinda like an icebreaker...u already have something to chit chat about..

[SaPpHiRe]

I've never really had a problem asking out a guy. I mean, I'm really shy when it's someone I really really really like, and it'll be the hardest thing in the world to do... When I met Mike, because I liked him so much, I wanted him to make the first move, because I wanted to know that he felt the same way. So, sometimes, it really all depends of the circumstances, and the person's shyness.

I was the one who asked if he wanted to go out for a drink, just as friends. On our "friend date" we both felt high chemistry going on, and he ended up asking me to go on an official date that weekend. Now we're about 1 1/2 years happy in love, waiting for our first child, and want to get married in the near future lol. And I was the one who asked him first :P

[seroone]

And I was the one who asked him first

Hmmm which one of you will Propose first? lol