Genie in a bottle

[XTR3M3]

One day a man was walking along the beach after a nasty divorce and spots a wierd bottle wash up on shore. Curiously he leans down and retrieves it from the sea. It looked to be and antique of good quality but was tarnished and dirty. Naturally he used part of his sleeve to wipe a portion off and POOF! Out pops a genie.

As soon as the djinn was fully formed, the man had already figured out what his wishes would be. The djinn bowed and said only one word when it bowed, "Master".

Bursting with excitement, the man blurt out, "Do I get three wishes?" The genie said "Of course, but there is a catch." "What is that?" the man asked instantly suspicious. "The catch is that whatever you wish for, your mean and hateful ex-wife gets double." the genie replied.

"Crap!" the man thought to himself. "To heck with it! I don't care about her!" "Here is my first wish...I wish for 20million dollars"

"Granted, and your wife gets 40." The man winced but continued on.

"I wish for my own tropical island" The man said.

"Granted, and your wife gets 2."

At this point the man said, "Back in the bottle. Before I make my third wish, I want to think for a while." The genie retired to the bottle and the man began enjoying his first 2 wishes. A short while later, his ex-wife finds out that he had come into money and land. She hired a lawyer that found a loop-hole in the divorce papers that entitled her to all. As a fierce court battle was about to ensue, the man got a bright idea..approaching the wife who had no kids or family, he said "I will sign the papers to get you out of my life forever if you agree to make me the beneficiary of your will if you die before I do."

Thinking to save on attourney fees and get everything in one easy deal, the wife agrees. She is 20 years his junior and figures she will outlive him anyway. On the way out of the courtroom, she smiles and evil smile and says "Have fun living on the street, fool" and cackled meanly as she walked away.

The man sucked it up and went home, a smile growing on his face as he drew closer to the genie's bottle. With a little rub, the genie appeared and asked if he was ready for his final wish...looking down at the court papers he said with a smile....

"Scare me half to death"

[EskimoBOB]

I like the version I heard originaly, at the end he says "beat me half to death".

A good one non the least though.

[sir-understeer]

FINALLY!!!

A joke where the man out smarts the woman!! hahahahahahaha

Awesome find X! haha

[Warling]

in dead chat you can still hear her scream: "HAX!"

[exosyphen]

Good one