Official Blonde jokes Thread

[EVILCoRpSe]

Three wemon who work in the same same office notice their female boss has started leaving work early every day . So one day they decidethatafter all, she never comes back, so how is she to know?

The brunette is thrilled to get home early. She does a little gardening watches a movie, then goes to bed early.. The red head was able to get in a quick work out at the gym before going out on her date. The blonde goes home hears a noise coming from her bedroom upstairs. She quietly sneaks up the stairs crackes the door a bit and sees her husband in bed with her boss... Ever so gently closes the door and sneaks back out of her house.

The next day while the brunette and the redhead talk about leaving early again, they asked the blonde if she wanted too, she said HELL NO!!! Yesterday i almost got caught!!!


*March 12/2007* Pinned as the official Blonde Jokes Thread -Sapphire

[chizo187murder]

LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I HAVE TO PRINT THAT !!!!!

Lmao please keep them coming evil... I Luuuuvvvv IT


187Murder

[red-phoenix]

omg that was funny lmao

[Raven]

Blond medical terminology
Artery -- Study of paintings
Bacteria -- Back door of cafeteria
Barium -- What doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- Letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarean section -- District in Rome
Cat scan -- Searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- Sheep dog
Coma -- A punctuation mark
Congenital -- Friendly
D&C -- Where Washington is
Diarrhea -- Journal of daily events
Dilate -- To live long
Enema -- Not a friend
Fester -- Quicker
Fibula -- A small lie
G.I. Series -- Soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- Suitcase
Hangnail -- Coathook
Impotent -- Distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- Torture in a teepee
Labor pain -- Got hurt at work
Medical staff -- Doctor's cane
Morbid -- Higher offer
Nitrate -- Cheaper than day rate
Node -- Was aware of
Outpatient -- Person who had fainted
Pelvis -- Cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- Letter carrier
Protein -- Favoring young people
Rectum -- It almost killed him
Recovery room -- Place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- Amorous
Scar -- Rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- Hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- Study of knighthood
Tablet -- Small table
Terminal illness -- Sickness at airport
Tibia -- Country in North Africa
Tumor -- An extra pair
Urine -- Opposite of you're out
Varicose -- Located nearby
Vein -- Conceited

[:-]

Rob

[Raven]

Blonde Logic

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!!

[:-]

[Ssk---LatinStyle]

lol nice

[«ÊÇ»grasshopper]

How does a blonde turn on the lights after sex. She opens the car door.

[EVILCoRpSe]

Three women are about to be executed for crimes. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde.

Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!" Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.

The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The redhead then screams, "tornado!!" Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.

By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She also says no, and the executioner shouts, Ready . . . Aim . . ."

The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

[XTR3M3]

What is the brunette's mating call at a party?
"Have all the blondes left yet?"

Score one for their side

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?
Invisible

Score 2...

[Raven]

ORIGINAL: [PHXX]XTR3M3
What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes?

The intelligent one?

[:-]

[1nfamous-fcuk]

i got a really good blonde joke what do u call a blonnde with pig tails? a dick sucker with handles lol

[SaPpHiRe]

What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head?









All you can eat for under a buck

[EVILCoRpSe]

Two blonde girls were working for the city public works department.



One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind her and fill the hole in. They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one girl digging a hole, the other girl filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting in to your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped her brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three person team. But today the girl who plants the trees called in sick."

[dwinx]

A blonde reports for her university final exam which consists of mainly true and false questions. She takes her seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes her purse out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet: true for heads and false for tails. Within thirty minutes she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is still working furiously.

During the last few minutes, she is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating. The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is happening.

"I finished the exam in a half hour," she replies. "Now I'm rechecking my answers."