[PaSte]

Ooooh! A challenge!
[ul][*]Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.[*]Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.[*]Chuck Norris is ten feet tall, weighs two-tons, breathes fire, and could eat a hammer and take a shotgun blast standing.[*]The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.[*]Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.[*]If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.[*]Chuck Norris drives an ice cream truck covered in human skulls.[*]When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.[*]The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.[*]Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices. But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.[*]Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.[*]There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.[*]Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.[*]In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.[*]Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.[*]Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.[*]Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.[*]Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.[*]A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.[*]Chuck Norris will attain statehood in 2009. His state flower will be the Magnolia.[*]Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.[*]Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."[*]Fool me once, shame on you. Fool Chuck Norris once and he will fuck you up.[*]The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.[*]Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"[*]Chuck Norris once bet NASA he could survive re-entry without a spacesuit. On July 19th, 1999, a naked Chuck Norris re-entered the earth's atmosphere, streaking over 14 states and reaching a temperature of 3000 degrees. An embarrassed NASA publically claimed it was a meteor, and still owes him a beer.[*]Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.[*]Someone once tried to tell Chuck Norris that roundhouse kicks aren't the best way to kick someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst mistake anyone has ever made.[*]Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.[*]Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.[*]Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.[*]Chuck Norris is not hung li